Alrighty... so a statement like this is probably too little and way too late, but after taking some time to myself over the last year or two and coming back for a visit today I feel like now's as good a time as any to make my position known on a few things. Let's knock a big one off straight outta the gate; Q and Trump and the mess of fighting and paranoia that caused between people on Voat:Q was a load of bullshit and Trump's as corrupt as the next. I was wrong to support either, and also wrong in my assessment of at least the majority of naysayers. I was not a knowing participant in any plot to shut down Voat.
As the TL;DR suggests, my current stance on Q and Trump is that it was the biggest load of shit we've seen in contemporary society in the last decade I would dare to say.While it's true that I was a 'believer' initially and for a while into it all, and it's obvious now that's no longer the case, what's not widely known (especially among those I was at odds with on Voat) is that since at least maybe mid 2018 or maybe earlier, I had been actively looking at my own line of research and observations which made me more and more anti-Q/anti-Trump by the day. For a long time now I have regretted not speaking out about that, for letting the shitshow carry on in the way it did.
I could go into the who what and why of how I came to realize just how bad it all was, but that's not really the point here and frankly it would take way to long to write let alone read; I just don't have the energy for that shit anymore and I doubt anyone gives much of a fuck. At the end of the day, I just want it known without doubt that I fucking loathe all the damage caused by Trump/Q and co, to those of us who were at each others' throats on voat and to the rest of the people around the world who got sucked into it and are still brainwashed beyond belief. The only positive that can be salvaged from that shit show is that at least in their own way, hundreds of thousands of people are now actively seeking to root out corruption and worse. But that will never excuse how much it has simultaneously damaged those people and there's certainly no excusing my silence when I should have more actively fought against it.
Alongside that I will also freely admit that I most certainly misread the intentions of the majority of Q/Trump naysayers on Voat. While I do suspect that a very small handful were "playing both sides" to keep everyone fighting, I'm gonna go out on a limb and offer a direct apology to the likes of @shewhomustbeobeyed and, if she happens to be around at all, @think-. This far along, I honestly forget who all else I should be extending that apology to, but it is there on the table for anyone else who wasn't acting with malice.
The way that Q/Trump divided Voat and in particular those trying to expose pedophilia, was just disgusting and I am sorry for the part I played in that. Which brings me to the next point.
On the shutdown of Voat and apparent suspicion that I was part of it:
Nothing could be further than the truth.
I fucking loved Voat, even the worst times and the butting of heads; it was such a major part of my life and through all the ups and downs it felt good to be actively trying to shine a light on the fuckery we were all looking into. I met some of the strangest, funniest, most dedicated and purpose-driven people of my life there and even though some of you (rightfully) will never trust or like me (duh, welcome to life), I can't imagine not ever having that period play out.
In a long list of things I got wrong, not seeing the writing on the wall re: Voat's shut down is one that stung me as much as it stung all of us when everything was done and dusted. As I said in a comment elsewhere, I have no idea who was just trying to sow discord and who was trying to warn us all in earnest... but those who spoke out about PIA(?) were right. I was wrong. But I absolutely was not part of any coordinated effort to slip PIA in the door or have Voat shut down, no matter how poorly I read the situation.
Voat was my dysfunctional second family and I still kinda miss it all despite having moved on.
There's a lot about that whole situation I may never know, regarding who was a "paid agitator" and who wasn't, or "shill" if you like... whatever. I'm just so sorry it all went down the way it did.
People change, folks. Situations sometimes become clearer in retrospect. Maybe in time some of you who distrust me come to realize I'm just another person who was trying to figure shit out with good intentions as I came to realize the same about you. For those of you still in the fight to uncover corruption/etc, carry on the torch as long as you can and do what is right in this world. I got burned out and needed to return to observing at best, but the world definitely needs people who will speak up and do the hard work.
You have my respect even if I'll never have yours.
As a parting gift, if anyone cares to understand just how much I fucking hate Trump and Q these days... Aviem Sella. Have fun.
cc: @MadWorld @kestrel9 (I really don't know who else is around that might appreciate even a few lines of this, but if you wanna tag some folks in go for it)
I'm not sure how often I'll pop my head in, but at this point in my life I just wanna be able to maybe come say hi and talk a bit of shit with the Voat OGs <3
