Good news, I found lemmy.ml, votal.net's tranny mother.

[MadWorld]

Does this mean that if they ban you at lemmy.ml, you will be banned on all sites that use lemmy?

Only on those sites federated with lemmy.ml.

How can you tell what sites are federated with eachother?

If you do a source search on the page, there is a key for json data named "federated_instances". The federated sites are listed there.

"federated_instances":{"linked":["baraza.africa","ds9.lemmy.ml","enterprise.lemmy.ml","fapsi.be","feddit.de","forum.nogafam.es","forum.purplerabbit.xyz","kallutatud.info","lemmy.161.social","lemmy.ca","lemmy.cat","lemmy.eus","lemmy.glasgow.social","lemmy.jdelcampo.eu","lemmy.lohn.in","lemmy.odat.xyz","lemmy.odium.pro","lemmy.pt","lemmy.schuerz.at","lemmy.services.coupou.fr","lemmy.tmpod.dev","lemmygrad.ml","mandacaru.caatinga.digital","mander.xyz","meowrr.com","midwest.social","purplerabbit.xyz","sopuli.xyz","stammtisch.hallertau.social","szmer.info","verity.fail","vote.casually.cat"],"allowed":null,"blocked":["legbeard.xyz"]}